Be weary of ADHD, k…….
After the rendition of ‘Being and Time’ I broke out of a common adolescent personal crisis that was fueled by a tradition of thought that kept digging up the ground as I was trying to put down roots.
I made quite the new friend recently. We’d been reading each other’s writings for a while or so and when we met in person we discovered not only that we are mutual admirers but also that we actually enjoy each other very intensely. In the creation of such I have decided from this point onward to officially call her ‘LAPIN’………done so with a smirk.
Why is it that some friends I embody do not return the favor? Especially women, most I am not particularly anxious for a romantic involvement with, [even though they may believe this is my intention, a man’s intention] even though I admire them in one way or another. All I ask is that we hang or go play or even do something as simple as engaging in small talk on the park swings while sharing a cream soda? Consider it lucky if and when I get a 5-word response to an email or im or other……lol
Oh, how our “fallenness” into “idle chatter” is one of our [=MY=] inevitable characteristics.
And so I’ve come to be a fan of small talk and keen on the unfathomable. Small talk lets you and your interlocutor take little steps until you find ground you share.
Second, art expresses something big in something small. (If it expresses something small in something big, you leave during the intermission.) Likewise, in small talk, we express ourselves in the details of what we talk about, the words we use, the ones we don’t, how far we lean forward, how tentatively or aggressively we probe for shared ground. Because all of this is implicitly presented, it tends to give a more accurate picture of who we are and what we care
about than big, explicit conversations.
Third, because small talk pokes here and there as it looks for ground, you can de-commit to it without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Fourth, I guess I’m more of a constructivist than an archaeologist when it comes to social relationships. My aim isn’t to expose my buried self to you. It’s to build a conversation and then a relationship that eventually is so deep that we can’t disentangle the roots. For that, we need lots and lots of ambiguity.
The only people I feel like can adequately describe me are the ones who don’t know me.
And that’s why I’m ok with small talk.
We can’t get along with one another in the desert of sunlight. I need you not to know everything I’m doing and everything I feel all the time………………just be there for me.
So, sorry, I’m busy tonight.
