‘romance’ may not last, but TRUE LOVE does……..if you move beyond the imaginings you may have become accustomed to……
we don’t talk much about the travails of broken romances … it’s one of the best-kept secrets in all our minds…..
what most people do wrong is equate romance with love, not realizing it’s only a steppingstone. Romance [the head-over-heels, can't-think-about-anything-else kind] is self-oriented and doomed to fizzle if not built upon. It draws people together and jump-starts love, but that’s it. We cannot expect romance to carry the whole weight of love……DO NOT STOP there, even though our society instructs us to stop.
the media and society keep people at the selfish level by promoting the infamous fantasy of ‘No. 1’ and encouraging us to view love as a commodity, as something to be consumed, rather than expressed. That mentality cultivates emotional responses that are narrow and needy.
many a culture’s love relationships are simply a reflection of that society’s human relationships in general. There is a potential of instead of not only falling in love, but also ‘rising’ to love.
let us define love the way the ancient Greeks did, with not one word but three:
the first is eros – a self-focused, beginner-level love. (”Eros says I want, I need – therefore I love.)
….next, is philia – a type of friendship, or we-centered love, that looks out for the wants and needs of others.
….and finally, agape – a “no strings attached,” unconditional giving.
agape and philia are ‘higher loves’, which are serene and stable and not nearly as exciting as the beginning eros romance (which is ‘discussed’ less frequently). Being in love is a passive and personal emotional state, but loving is an active effort to ‘aid’ someone.
a ‘higher love’ is just more generous, whereas the other person is important in his/her own right rather than just an instrument for your wants and needs.
‘higher love’ is certainly attainable, but it takes practice and effort. Loving differently means having a more generous, kinder, less-acquisitive approach toward everybody and not just ‘your’ person. That’s what will help people rise above the current level of relationships and develop their spiritual and emotional being.
the conceptual premise is very simple, just not always easy.
