….you may want to forego reading the [pessimistic] eMo post below……..

bedtime:
11:45pm

last look at the clock while in bed twisting to and fro, persecuted by self-deprecating ‘judgments’ [and abysmal decadence]…..about what could or should have been at the present phase of my existence:
3:48am

‘woke up’:
7:07am

what are the caveat signs of a mid-life crisis?

…..even if the ‘middle of the road’ is technically years away?

My psyche is far too lethargically reminiscent and unforgiving of those precious moments [4-ever suspended in time], that I deliberately misspent throughout these past 10 years!

Yes! Oceans of memories [even wonderful] are edged in stone, enough for 50 volumes.
Yes! The path I chose was certainly one wild […and sometimes eccentrically entertaining] fucking ride!
Yes! There are a great many things that I would never retract, even if given the chance. [...and vice versa!]

But where are the remarkable, bodacious and extraordinary epochs that were called upon to endure?…..at the very least in memory?

If I were to narrate [and compare] those expectations that presented themselves to me right out of high school to the present achievement of those same ambitions, most conscientious observers would label me an utter failure.

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We’ve already seen this bout before, around the turn of 2004 [minus those other ‘far less’ instances], but this ‘one’ is more profound [in its contempt] and much closer to the annual…..dawn of the spring equinox.

What is with these…..“What the fuck does it all mean!”…..states of mind?!?!?!?

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….and during these ‘dark’, ‘sickening’ and tumultuous times, someone has also subconsciously……………..quit smoking?!?!?

…4.5 days and counting…..