Archive for April, 2005
26
Apr
*edited*
The Ribs of Doom Icon is Born…..
I find it quite sickening, senseless and disturbing that although the sole & primary intention of this digital journal is to communicate my perceptive wanderings, translated renditions and epitaphic memories……etc……(as well as my reference guide for disseminated thought and those accompanying images that somewhat characterize the self-conception of those thoughts), that there exist those elitist & snobbish knaves out there in LJ Land who insist on their ‘GREATER’ social stature by threatening me in their [misguided] belief that I have something to gain by either quoting them or by temporarily using an image that reflects the atmospheric relevance of a particular moment in my life.
[How's that for a runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-on?]
Such misanthropic prejudice towards those that wish you no harm [and cause you no direct harm], beguiles your mind away from the very prolific & creative spirit [and recognition] you are yearning for.
What exactly do you believe I have or wish to gain here???
…………Am I causing some transitory damage to your fucking over-inflated ego???
There exist quite enough stress and issues in my life that certainly should not include the scope of this LJ.
Do you honestly believe that I do not comprehend Fair Use?
………Especially when you consider that I produce music and ’share’ the fruits of my labor [intentionally or not] on occasion, with unfortunately little to no compensation for it?
[Which is completely unrelated to this LJ anyway.....]
The next time you wish to be an azz about an entry I happen to include in my LJ, even when that post will have absolutely no effect on your imaginary & phantasmic elevated social status, why not personally message me and embark on some dialogue????
Oh….and one last thing….
That person on my ‘friends list’ who seems destine to stir up trouble needs to get a freak’n life outside the Internet and my LJ entries.
Dumbazz.
Maybe I should remove most of those on my friends list, even though I originally added them because something they posted intrigued me? Thoughts?
NEXT TIME…..REMIND ME TO SPEND A FEW HOURS SEARCHING FOR THE OWNER OF AN ABSTRACT IMAGE >>> BEFORE I USE IT IN A LJ ENTRY…….we wouldn’t want to upset those fragile sensibilities.
….but little did they realize, a small flickering flame began to dance upon the pale darkness…..closing in….on the fear that had brought him to that decrepit place…..
…getting larger now…..
when his eyes were finally able to distinguish the burgeoning details of the light, he enshrined his fear with a smile and made his peace.
…..just your presence illuminated his soul, triggering a steadfast calmness that eventually led him home safely and sound.
THANK YOU Sweet Lady…..
Imagine for a moment that you have been given a mere 2 hours more to live, and that the last few opportunities afforded to you [during that remaining time] stray but a little from the ’absentLY-animated existence’ humans encounter on any of the ordinary day-to-day yields.
….SO NO!…..you don’t have time for another snack at Dairy Queen*^$^*
….moving on fucker…..
Lying there alone [or not] what ‘epitomized chaos’ would suddenly begin to inflict its eternal maelstrom upon your conscience?
Will you succumb to the immortality of sorrow and pity * or * extoll at your triumphs, knowing you fulfilled a majority of your dreams?
…WILL you be happy….SATISFIED with the legacy you shall soon be abandoning……..
…Or will your cow-cow eyes swell with tears as you finally discover that the life, as it had existed before your death sentence, ventured upon forsaken?
Another day I may delve deep into the philosophy of time, but until then…….remember that THIS is your life and it is ending with each passing stroke.
_______________________
Though I couldn’t get comfortable on the hospital bed, the night staff made their first and last effort at obliging me……w/ pillows.
Sitting there alone, within the dead lights, the only sensation I experienced was saturated in ‘majestic darkness’, which gradually crept over my being.
No soothing voice to ease your passing….
No reAssurance that all is well……..
No comforts beyond the blessing of each successive breathe.
Confusion overcomes me……
No answer….
Nothing makes sense…..
Your body confused….
Your mind confused…..
Your heart is losing its nerve.
But just then……it hits me like Pecan Pie truck……
“I have no fear of death and the ‘unknown beyond’, nonetheless, I cannot shake the aching fear of being utterly alone in this strange place!”
I must face my fear.
I shall let it consume me, only to understand it.
I must rise above it and conquer it.
I must spread its ashes into the whirlwind of destiny, in hopes that it shall never return.
Fear is the mind-killer……
And a strong FEAR it is.
______________________________________
One rarely fathoms the TIME they have been given, until that time has been revoked unconditionally.
Will you get the second chance I did?
…..scratch that last one, wagering on life is a DUPES sport…..unless you have those batteries to the last remaining clock.
we should never submit to lashing ourselves with that which haunts our conscious…..
Life seems filled with lots of “I should’s.”
Knowing what we need to do in order to improve our lives isn’t a bad thing……it’s essential if we want to progress, but sometimes it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the “I should’s.”
The result: We don’t even take the first step forward.
What can stop us from feeling ‘stuck’?
……I find that being willing to be faithful and patient with myself and others helps me focus on doing what’s right in the present moment rather than getting buried in procrastination and inertia.
Below is the parable:
A man who is leaving home calls his household together and asks his three servants to manage his possessions while he is away. He gives one of his servants five talents, another two talents, and the third servant, one talent.
When the master returns, the servant who was given five talents reports that he has invested the money and earned another five talents, and the servant with two talents hands over an additional two. “Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things,” the master says to both servants. But the third servant tells him that he was scared and hid the one talent he had been given in the ground, so he has nothing more to offer. The master reprimands him and says: “Thou wicked and slothful servant….”
The story tells me that I need to make sure that I am using what I have been given – even if it seems to me to be a small amount. Being ‘faithful over a few things’ means that I am willing to do what I can do now – even if there are many more steps required.
In order to apprehend more, we must put into practice what we already know…. If we are ‘faithful over a few things,’ we shall be made rulers over many; but if we neglect the one unused talent it will decay and be forever lost.
>>>>
………Not long ago, I was feeling quite overwhelmed by life’s typical tribulations. I kept telling myself how awful I felt……but in the midst of this misery, I heard something else…..
It was an inner voice that kept saying:
“You can stop repeating how awful you feel!”
I realized that even if I couldn’t do anything else, I would be willing to obey this one message: Stop repeating the error!!!!
Instead of becoming blind and submissive to the incipient and advanced stages of melancholy, I rose in rebellion against it.
I rebelled by refusing to dwell on the ‘symptoms’…….
That was the turning point.
After attaining the self-inspired healing I needed, I was able to get everything done following my ‘chronic episode’.
This willingness to be faithful and patient with ourselves leads to the progress and healing we yearn for.
We humans always want the approval of the person who doesn’t want to give it to us.
Does this not seem curious to you?
Instead of just walking away and saying “your loss”, we often chase after others, ‘begging and pleading’ for their approval, all the while believing that we must have done something wrong.
We must bear in mind that some people actually ENJOY making other people feel bad. Many people actually ENJOY ‘rejecting’ others. It gives them a feeling of power, an elevated sense of ego.
Classic example:
There are MANY women who will spend all week shopping (sometimes with someone else’s money), spend two hours putting on their new clothing and new makeup (and doing their hair)…..only then to go out to get attention from men…….so that they can reject those same men and then have the audacity to complain to their friends about what “losers” and “pigs” men are and how they hate it when men look at them like “pieces of meat”……..
FOFL…..Go figure! …..And with me being a witness to this mentality far too many times, i cannot believe that it is just mere coincidence.
Part of growing up (while becoming ‘GENUINE’) and getting this area of your life handled is realizing that not all people are good people, and to not let those that aren’t ‘CHILL’ AFFECT YOU.
You have to reach a point in your life where your attitude becomes “I WILL NOT give anyone permission to take my joy, happiness and good mood from me”!!!
When you get to this point, then IT WILL NOT MATTER if someone doesn’t respond positively to you, regardless of the factors involved.
It won’t matter if they reject you.
It won’t matter if they do not have a sense of humor.
(Many inhabitants of this planet do not seem to possess a ‘sharp’ sense of humor anyway.)
None of this will matter if and when you decide not to give anyone permission to TAKE YOUR JOY FROM YOU.
My advice:
Learn to walk away.
Learn to blow it off.
Learn how to IMMEDIATELY disconnect and detach from the types of situations where you are bombarded by ignorant and/or negative people, while NOT letting those same people affect you.
You pesky jello-skeletons need to learn the remarkable skill of keeping your power and joy for yourselves without [ever] giving it to anyone else, ESPECIALLY those you don’t even know.
So0o0o0o0o0o……make a decision right now that your joy is your own and that you’ll never allow another person to take it from you.
Feel me?